Hello! This is where I'm posting my thoughts and experiences about things....all the things. I will be sharing the random thoughts that pop into my head. Some are deep, some are dumb. It's up to others to figure out which is which.
Every now and then, I get a thought stuck in my head, and I cannot let it go. It is very similar to when you have a song in your head. You keep humming and humming until either a friend/family member kills you, or until you hear the song on the radio. On a side note, I read a theory that suggests that songs get stuck in our head because we do not hear the end of them. As a result, our brains fixate on the song, until we get closure. How do you get closure? You Google that shit, listen to the song, and then shoot the fucking computer. That's a lie, don't shoot the computer.
So what's stuck in my mind? Psychology. Now as a disclaimer, I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. So if anyone reading this is one, keep you mouth shut and let me rant. What am I ranting about in particular? The prevailing mindset that I have encountered, lately. As you may or may not know, I am in the process of getting certified as a personal trainer. I happen to have a couple clients that I work with, who are very new to their fitness journey. And for years (decades) exercise was "not who they are". Now in the past week or so, they have started to transform this mindset. They have truly started to commit to their program, with the mindset that they are going to be healthier every day. One issue that we are working to overcome is the idea of discounting. Now as a Jew, I can appreciate a good discount. But in fitness, fuck that. And now I start my rant.
When it comes to fitness, and people who train, I think the mind is the most important issue to address. I've read several articles about this, and I truly believe it is accurate. Especially when someone is new to training, they have two typical thoughts. "This isn't who I am." or "That was good, but .....". So lets start with the concept of identity. Who the fuck says that someone is not about that fitness life? I got news. If you are getting up everyday, taking steps to improve your health, then you bet your sweet ass that you are about that fitness life. Daily exercise or healthy eating might not be who you were, but goddamn if it is not who you are. I think more people fail because they have this idea of themselves. They see what they want, whether it is a certain job, a certain body type, a certain possession, whatever the fuck, and they think that it is "not who they are". They are not the type of person to have/do/say/get whatever the fuck it is that they want. And you know what? Fuck. That.
Take a moment and think about what you want in your life. Go ahead. I'll wait....................You see it? Now what the fuck says you cannot have/be/do that thing? There are some things we cannot do. I will never be a 6'2" basketball player. I can play basketball, but I will never be that tall. I know that. But guess what? I could play basketball every goddamn day, if I wanted. I don't, but I could. We spend so much time thinking about "who we are", that we never think about who we want to be. The only difference between the two? Owning the goddamn role. You want to be about the healthy life? Fuck it, you are. You want to be a "gamer"? Buy a fucking game and be a gamer. Nobody says you have to be good at what you do. You just have to do it. So don't discount your shit, saying "that's not who I am". Fuck that. Own your shit. And that leads me to the next point.
Stop your bullshit discounting! I don't know what the fuck happened to society that everyone is afraid of tooting their own horn. You know what? If you did something great, the show some goddamn pride! Who cares if someone else could have had the same accomplishment? Who cares if it isn't a big deal to someone else? I got news. Unless that fucker is you, you have nobody to compare yourself to. Do you know who my favorite people are to see training? The ones who are clearly out of shape, busting their ass in the hot-ass sun, miserable as fuck. Why? Because those people know what's up. They are the ones that are putting in the hard work. It is ten times more impressive to see someone run 100 feet for the first time in their life, than it is to see a marathon runner run a fucking mile. Why? Because that 100 feet is a far superior accomplishment. But for whatever reason, people feel the need to discount their accomplishments. It's like they are afraid that by being proud, someone will come and ruin their moment. Fuck. That. If you did something, you should be proud as fuck. Your worst day, should still be a day of pride. Even if you get shit on all day, you can at least be proud that you made it through and get to sleep. And if you don't get to sleep, then you should at least be proud that you didn't cut a bitch.
But this again hearkens back to the idea of the psychology. I firmly believe in positive reinforcement and identity. If you identify as being something, regardless of what it is, you will embody that thing. And for everyone saying, "you can't embody a dinosaur", fuck you. If I think I am a dinosaur, then your ass better run. Otherwise I'mma chase you fuckers down and eat you. That's right. I said it. If I decide that I am truly going to identify as a dinosaur, I'mma go Jurassic Park on your candy-ass. Just like I identify as a husband, future father, trainer, business owner, and shit talker. That's who I am, and who I want to be. And you know what? By acknowledging, accepting, and embracing who/what you want to be, life gets a hell of a lot more pleasant. You may suck at being/doing whatever you identify with, but at least you are enjoying that identity.
Likewise, I believe in the positive reinforcement of belief. Believing that you can accomplish that task that you want to. It may not be easy, but neither was potty-training. Think about it. How hard do you think it was to finally trust that you could poop in the big white bowl? It was a helluva lot less convenient, but you got your shit together and you flushed proper. And you know what? You were proud as fuck about that. You didn't think, "Well, my parents have been using the toilet for a bajilion years. Clearly my success means nothing." No. You were proud as fuck. And as well you should have been. I got news, there's no difference between that, and the shit you want to accomplish now. It's just that society has now made everyone afraid to brag.
And so there you have it. My rant is done. I could keep going, but then I might repeat myself more than I already have. And I am too damn young to start repeating myself. And so my final words are this. Whatever the fuck it is that you want to be, be it. If you want to do something, do it. And if you have a success, no matter how big or small, celebrate the shit out of it. And if someone tries to discount or make light of whatever you're doing, tell them to suck it. Then dance as you walk away, harvesting power from the fucks they start giving. And just like that, fucktosynthesis.
SO! Another shout out goes to Russia. I don't understand it. I talk shit about them only contributing vodka and communism, and yet they are hitting up my blog fairly consistently. For the first time, I had more page hits from Russia, than the US. Step your shit up, America! You can't fight the Red Scare without getting a little pink! I have no idea what that even means. But it sounded good, right?
So the weekend was an interesting one. My wife is still battling morning sickness. And by that, I mean 24/7 sickness. She described pregnancy as, "It's like 9 months hungover, that end with pushing a human out. Except it's worse. Hang-over at least means I could have alcohol. Preggers sucks." She said this, of course, as she was running to the porcelain god. On a semi-related note, my wife is still keeping a sense of humor. The other day, she was semi-dancing, letting her arms sway back and forth. She then faked morning sickness, and started laughing. After asking her about it, my wife said she was pretending to be an octopus. She was laughing because octopuses use projectile ink as a weapon, much like she pretended with her morning sickness. Of course, in faking the morning sick, my wife became truly nauseated and had to run to the bathroom. She then ran back out, and continued her octopus dance. I also do not know if she is joking, or not, but my wife has repeatedly stated that she wants to puke on my face. I can't be certain, but I suspect there might be hostility over the fact that she has to deal with carrying the child and I do not.
On a separate note, we have not named our kid yet. We want to wait for the gender, before we put too much effort into it. Imagine how fucked up it would be to come up with the perfect boy's name, and find out we are having a girl? And knowing us, we would not have a gender neutral name. I just don't see many girls named "Jack" or "David" or "Paul" or "Megatron". Though we have been talking about the fact that we may get the gender wrong. If we are expecting a daughter, and we end up with a son, we've decided to name the child Todd. Why? Because Tod-d fucks things up. He lost his belly, and thus lost the identity of Craig. Tod-d accidentally snorted Jack Daniel's. It is only fair that our child be named after him, should she turn out to be a he.
On a separate note, Ahmed has had his name changed. Through dialogue with our Game Night Friends, my wife and Ahmed were talking. And as you may recall, Ahmed does not have much regard for "boundaries". Why does this matter? Because my wife was talking about the weather. We are in for a hot spell, this summer, and my wife said that it is too hot to do much outside. In fact, she said that the only good this heat was for is throwing a ring in it. Yes, my wife made a Lord of The Rings reference. That's right, she's a bad-ass. Ahmed ruined the reference, however, when he referenced a cock-ring. For the sake of my mind's eye, I am assuming this was a joke. My wife's response, of course, was, "Why? Why do you tell me this? I cannot look at you the same anymore. You are a different person, now."
No, this is not what Ahmed meant. But again, fuck you. I am trying to prevent a terrible mental image.
Because this was in a chat with all of our Game Night Friends, Tod-d immediately said that Ahmed needed a new name. My wife thought about it, and out of spite, gave Ahmed the name Muhammad. Why is this spiteful? Because Ahmed is a proud atheist and hates Islam. To compound the insult, Muhammad was then renamed to be Muhammad-d (pronounced: Moo-HA-Muh-duh-duh).
Moral of the Story: Russia is kicking ass. My wife is an octopus that wants to puke in my face. And Muhammad-d is regretting his choice in disclosure. Oh, and I want to name our kid Megatron.
Holy shit! Russia ate my shit up, the other day! I haven't posted shit in what, a week? But goddamn! спасибо Россия! Yeah, I know Russian. What now, сука? I'm joking. Not about the knowing Russian part, but about the "bitch" part. (hint: cyka is Russian for bitch). This reminds me of the time I woke up to find out that Israel read my shit over 180 times in one day. Considering how small that country is, I was shocked! That's some word of mouth shit going on there.
I know I haven't been blogging as much as I want to, or as much as others might want me to. You know why? Because I got a lot of shit to do. Between a job, a company, a new company, a wife, a future baby, and all the other things, I get tired. My wife is a champion. She's preggers, and has morning sickness all the goddamn day. Even with that, she is still kicking ass at her PhD. Proof that women are stronger than men. The only time men have that much nausea is when we eat shitty food and drink enough to lose our house (or apartment). Even then, we spend one day puking and praying that the porcelain god will show mercy. No way in hell we would last more than a day.
I've been playing Pokemon GO. I still hate myself for it. It is a consolation though to see all the random-ass people out, talking about it. I was at a professional conference, and several elderly government folks were talking about how many Squirtles they had captured. I don't know whether to respect them more, for using technology to get active, or to respect them less, because these are the assholes that write and enforce legislation. Either way, it is taking off.
In other news, the Republican National Convention is happening. Evidently it's a shit-show. And before all the Red country starts bitching and moaning about how "Trump is bad, but Hillary is worse", fuck you. I can talk shit about Trump and Hillary both. I'm just picking Trump because the RNC is happening right now. Between a protest in the RNC, Colbert crashing the stage, and Trump's Wife straight up plagiarizing Michelle Obama, it's a fucked up RNC. I cannot wait to see what else happens, and how the DNC compares. Oh yeah, and let's not forget Ted Cruz snubbing Trump, the Colorado delegation walking out, and Third-Eye Blind trolling the shit out of the crowd. I mean seriously. Shit-show.
On the subject of politics, I hate talking about them. As an American, our systems is fucked. I mean, hardcore, prison fucked. Somewhere in hell, there is a prison with a very large man named "Tiny". And America's political system is becoming Tiny's bitch. And I understand where it comes from. Everyone who works and does shit for a living, wants to live in a country that is well managed. The problem is that the government is focused on CYA (Cover Your Ass) politics. Half of them don't give a flying fuck about the people anymore. The lowest people on the totem pole are doing what they are told. As you climb the ladder, you focus more on how to cover your ass and shit on the person below you. I actually traced it, and the Supreme Court is the only government entity that can actually do anything. They are the only ones that do not need any money or political support to keep their position.
On an unrelated note, I wonder if "lowest on the totem pole" is considered offensive. I mean, I wouldn't think so. But then again, everyone seems to be turning everything into a slur, these days. Someone told a black actress "You're in first class, lucky you." The actress accused the person of racism. Unless the tone was racist, and it could have been, that sentence is not at all racist. That actress is lucky as shit to ride first class. Normal tickets suck dick. Before you realize it, you are in the back of the plane, with no AC, regretting the extra protein, and wondering what it will be like when you get to hell. Fuck yes, that actress was lucky! If we were on the same plane, she would not have had to suffer my pestilence. That's okay, at least I can say hello to American politics, after the next election.
But on a serious note, it seems like a lot of people get butt-hurt over stuff that should not matter. I am not excusing racist rhetoric, mind you. Fuck that. If you're a racist, or you say racist shit, then you deserve a right proper smack bottom. But at the same time, not every action or insult is based on demographic. Sometimes an asshole comes along and says "Fuck you", simply because they don't like you. It doesn't necessarily mean they dislike you because of your socioeconomic, religious, or racial background. It means they dislike you because you're also an asshole. Seriously, it's time for people to man/woman the fuck up. And again, if I tell someone to woman the fuck up, they better not get offended. I'm not telling them to fix me a goddamn sandwich (though I am a bit hungry, right now). I am telling them to act like the type of person that is capable of pushing another person out of them. Again, women are stronger than men. Act like it. And if I tell a person to man the fuck up, don't get pissed off at that either. Men need to stop their bitching and moaning, start taking some goddamn responsibility, and stop acting like fuck-ups. Whether you're a "muscle" guy or a "books" guy, get your shit together and do something to improve this world. Women have enough shit to deal with; it's about goddamn time that we start doing our part.
Moral of the Story: Russia is awesome, despite giving us nothing but vodka and communism. My wife is a badass. And America needs to man/woman the fuck up.
